I have been in Nicaragua about a month and as expected the immersion process is well underway. After a whirlwind staging event in DC (where it snowed!), and a long day of traveling, I finally arrived in Managua, Nicaragua on January 11, 2012. Currently, I am living in a small town in the department (similar to a state) of Carazo. I am in training until the end of March, when I will officially become a Peace Corps Community Health Volunteer and begin my two years of service. At this point I am not sure where I will be living, but all will be discovered within the next coming weeks. The Peace Corps is notorious for not giving away too much information. However, I am a supporter of this strategy, as I would be severely overwhelmed knowing everything at once. This has been a great exercise in learning how to live in the moment.
The family I live with is absolutely wonderful. I have three sisters, one of which is my age, but is married with a 2.5 year old. I often wonder how they perceive me. I am a 25 year old single female, who has chosen to live on her own for twenty seven months in a foreign country. Ironically, as I am new to my environment I am very much treated as a child. After three weeks I have finally convinced my family that I can make my own coffee! However, most women my age in Nicaragua are married with children. I often question whether I am looked at with envy or pity. I have the freedom to go and do as I please, but at the same time I am very much alone. I guess these social norms are quite similar in the states. Most of the people my age back home are either in long-term relationships, settled in a two bedroom, engaged, married, or have kids! I have no regrets concerning my post college decisions. I have had wonderful and even at times life altering experiences. Although, I am quick to realize that because I have lived such a nomadic and international lifestyle, it has kept me from engaging in the types of relationships the majority of people my age experience. I don’t believe any human can exist on his/her own. As a race, we strive for connection and it would be masochistic to deny this truth. Furthermore, I believe one of the crucial steps to successful and sustainable (excuse the buzzword) development work is building lasting relationships. I think I’ll just have to find someone who is willing to chase me around the world.
When I begin to reflect on the pre-journey I took to finally begin my 27 month journey with the Peace Corps I can hardly believe I am actually surrounded by 19 other hopeful Peace Corp Trainees (“Aspirantes” as we are known) in country. There was definitely a period of time (last August-September to be exact) when I was DEFINITELY NOT going to the Peace Corps. After what had been a rocky start to my New York City adventure, I finally had begun to “figure stuff out” in the city that never sleeps (and yes, I was not sleeping, thanks to the numerous wonderful but expensive coffee shops in my neighborhood). I had three jobs which were enough to cover my coffee addiction and the subway (who needs food anyways?), and the hours were flexible enough to allow me to pursue my real passion: ACTING! Yes, acting. It had always been there. Something I had adamantly pursued in High School, but then deemed to impractical to continue in College. I was going to be Paul Farmer after all, and was way too busy trying to cure the poorest of the poor from the world’s most deadly (yet treatable) diseases. Right. Actually, most of college was spent obsessing over that fact that I couldn’t run (thank you right tibia stress fracture, and my inability to admit to myself that I could not survive running 60+ miles a week!), and beating my head against a wall while trying to understand various chemical compounds, synthesis, and pathways. I claimed both competitive running and science were my passions. So why was I so unhappy? Well, first of all I was very young and misinformed. I don’t care who you are, but at 17, there is no way you can know for sure, exactly your calling in life. Sure, as an impressionable adolescent, ready to take the plunge and move 3,000 miles away from home for four years, I felt capable and confident to pursue a path similar to Paul Farmer. However, I failed to realize that maybe, just maybe, I had other interests (and not to mention breaking points)! Oh yeah, and if your only extra-curricular is competitive running…que aburrido!
So why am I in Nicaragua and not New York City pursuing a dream?! I wish I could give a real answer. Unfortunately, life is just not that simple or black and white. Serving in the Peace Corps has also always been a lifelong aspiration. I honestly cannot recall when I first learned about the Peace Corps, but ever since college it has always been something I believed I would one day be a part of. I still question daily whether or not I should be here. Thanks to the wonderful side effects of my malaria medication I am fully enjoying my vivid dreams of starring in multiple Broadway productions. However, until I have reached a point where I can say with 100% certainty that I should be in New York City and not the Peace Corps, I am here to stay. Life has to be more than just acting, it’s about how specific life experiences shape one as an artist. I cannot think of a more diverse and compelling journey than a stint in the Peace Corps.
The family I live with is absolutely wonderful. I have three sisters, one of which is my age, but is married with a 2.5 year old. I often wonder how they perceive me. I am a 25 year old single female, who has chosen to live on her own for twenty seven months in a foreign country. Ironically, as I am new to my environment I am very much treated as a child. After three weeks I have finally convinced my family that I can make my own coffee! However, most women my age in Nicaragua are married with children. I often question whether I am looked at with envy or pity. I have the freedom to go and do as I please, but at the same time I am very much alone. I guess these social norms are quite similar in the states. Most of the people my age back home are either in long-term relationships, settled in a two bedroom, engaged, married, or have kids! I have no regrets concerning my post college decisions. I have had wonderful and even at times life altering experiences. Although, I am quick to realize that because I have lived such a nomadic and international lifestyle, it has kept me from engaging in the types of relationships the majority of people my age experience. I don’t believe any human can exist on his/her own. As a race, we strive for connection and it would be masochistic to deny this truth. Furthermore, I believe one of the crucial steps to successful and sustainable (excuse the buzzword) development work is building lasting relationships. I think I’ll just have to find someone who is willing to chase me around the world.
When I begin to reflect on the pre-journey I took to finally begin my 27 month journey with the Peace Corps I can hardly believe I am actually surrounded by 19 other hopeful Peace Corp Trainees (“Aspirantes” as we are known) in country. There was definitely a period of time (last August-September to be exact) when I was DEFINITELY NOT going to the Peace Corps. After what had been a rocky start to my New York City adventure, I finally had begun to “figure stuff out” in the city that never sleeps (and yes, I was not sleeping, thanks to the numerous wonderful but expensive coffee shops in my neighborhood). I had three jobs which were enough to cover my coffee addiction and the subway (who needs food anyways?), and the hours were flexible enough to allow me to pursue my real passion: ACTING! Yes, acting. It had always been there. Something I had adamantly pursued in High School, but then deemed to impractical to continue in College. I was going to be Paul Farmer after all, and was way too busy trying to cure the poorest of the poor from the world’s most deadly (yet treatable) diseases. Right. Actually, most of college was spent obsessing over that fact that I couldn’t run (thank you right tibia stress fracture, and my inability to admit to myself that I could not survive running 60+ miles a week!), and beating my head against a wall while trying to understand various chemical compounds, synthesis, and pathways. I claimed both competitive running and science were my passions. So why was I so unhappy? Well, first of all I was very young and misinformed. I don’t care who you are, but at 17, there is no way you can know for sure, exactly your calling in life. Sure, as an impressionable adolescent, ready to take the plunge and move 3,000 miles away from home for four years, I felt capable and confident to pursue a path similar to Paul Farmer. However, I failed to realize that maybe, just maybe, I had other interests (and not to mention breaking points)! Oh yeah, and if your only extra-curricular is competitive running…que aburrido!
So why am I in Nicaragua and not New York City pursuing a dream?! I wish I could give a real answer. Unfortunately, life is just not that simple or black and white. Serving in the Peace Corps has also always been a lifelong aspiration. I honestly cannot recall when I first learned about the Peace Corps, but ever since college it has always been something I believed I would one day be a part of. I still question daily whether or not I should be here. Thanks to the wonderful side effects of my malaria medication I am fully enjoying my vivid dreams of starring in multiple Broadway productions. However, until I have reached a point where I can say with 100% certainty that I should be in New York City and not the Peace Corps, I am here to stay. Life has to be more than just acting, it’s about how specific life experiences shape one as an artist. I cannot think of a more diverse and compelling journey than a stint in the Peace Corps.
