The End of Integration?

I run through tickling rain to catch a bus from the department capital to my site. As I enter the yellow cave, transported from the nation of my birth, the thick heat of foreign bodies cramming the aisle cuts my relief to be dry. The thought of spending an hour and a half bobbing through sweat, bags of fried plantain and chicken makes me yearn to retreat to the raindrops’ earlier gnaw. The sudden tap of a hand against my thigh ushers relief.  Without looking, my body has been culturally conditioned to recognize that this touch signals the offering of an unoccupied seat.

I settle into my highly desired accommodation, shoot an awkward smile of appreciation to my neighbor and disappear into the familiarity of my headphone’s blare. This is a common ritual.  As I enter the chaotic environment of a Nicaraguan bus ride, I escape into the comfort of my music in order to avoid the stresses that accompany the journey. It wasn’t always this way.

When I first came to Nicaragua, I actively scrutinized every moment of my experience, allowing curiosity to flow from all my senses. I remember the initial bus rides were infused with the scent of elote (corn on the cob) sold by women with golden-laced teeth and frilly aprons. The smell of salted and buttered corn will forever trigger a cascade of sentiments with regards to my Peace Corps experience. I would take in the waves of green hills that floated by my tinted window like the images I used to explore as a child through my 1980’s View Finder.  The blasts of Ranchera music from the bus’s speakers were synchronized to this serene passing of nature.

            However, these days the plethora of sights, sounds and aromas that encompass Nicaragua are failing to diffuse as easily through my cultural membrane. In some ways this may signal that I have reached the peak of cultural adaptation and I have achieved integration. Yet, I cannot help but be saddened by the notion that in some ways to successfully assimilate into a different environment involves a trade off of experiences devoid of enlightenment and emotion. Nicaraguan life has become the norm, and thus I have stopped noticing this country’s intriguing nuances, which initially provided me with perspective and personal growth.

            As Peace Corps Volunteers, a large part of the job is to learn about our seemingly foreign settings. At first this poses perhaps immense physical and emotional challenges. Yet, regardless of our reactions, it is inevitable that we will be affected by our novel experiences. As service progresses cultural integration does not become easier, it only presents different obstacles. The longer we are in country and we become increasingly accustomed to our surroundings, the more difficult it is to absorb new knowledge. This struggle perhaps also causes us to shut ourselves off from attempting to learn more. It does not necessarily imply that there is nothing more to be attained, but rather one has to work harder to obtain greater edification.

As someone who constantly strives to advance my knowledge to learn more from diverse experiences, I admit that I am left frustrated at times by my increasing inability to absorb anything new from my surroundings. However, with 8 months left of service I am determined to take the necessary steps to unlock the rest of Nicaragua’s enigma. This will involve asking more questions and taking the time to actively listen to the responses. I’m relatively comfortable here, but that ease can act as a great impediment to advancement. I want to leave Nicaragua with unique memories and a greater understanding of not only myself, but the world of development, and a generation of youth that I personally believe has great potential for success. This can only be accomplished by pushing myself to constantly capture knowledge that is in my reach by striking a balance between how the experiences affect both my intellect and emotions. Awareness of this need is the first step to recovering Nicaragua’s cultural pieces of information that I may have missed along my journey. 

Midpoint Musings

Entering the second year of Peace Corps service has stimulated a need for important reflection. At this point, I feel I have learned a lot and simultaneously I still have many unanswered questions. Within the context of this post I hope to provide some words of advice and perspective to future and newly minted volunteers. However, with a year left in Nicaragua, I recognize that I still have additional knowledge to acquire and synthesize, a process which will continue long after the completion of my 27 months in the Peace Corps.

As a volunteer, you are thrown into the life and rhythm of a site that has been functioning long before you arrived.  The principle job is to find a way to fit into this cadence of activity. Many hope that their presence can influence the course of their community's movement, yet it is unproductive to concentrate heavily on this goal, as its outcome is often immeasurable. The primary focus of the two-year commitment involves soaking up the necessary knowledge to help shape your individual experience.

There is no forthright path in the Peace Corps that leads to success. It is best to eliminate the idea of dichotomies and absolutes when approaching your service. The notion of a “good” or “bad” volunteer is a fallacy. Volunteers are complex individuals and each has their own coping mechanisms and working styles. It is best not to waste time comparing yourself to other volunteers or judging their behaviors. Remember that YOU are the expert when it comes to living and working in your site. As a volunteer you will spend more time with your community than anyone else in the Peace Corps, and while others can perhaps give recommendations or advice, no one in the administration nor another volunteer has any significant influence to direct your service. Most of your decisions regarding site work evolve from the subjective nature of your environment. Trust your gut and analytical skills, because while you have a designated program leader, the reality is that he/she spends most of their time in an office while you are immersed in the daily conduct of your community. Refrain from engaging in certain activities because it’s what you think Peace Corps expects. What works in one site may not be relevant in another.  

In November I wrote a post on the debate of whether the Peace Corps is a development organization. I have realized that the structure in which a volunteer works may act as a model for the development process. Activities in development are relative to the needs and cultural context of a community, as the work of a volunteer is stimulated by these crucial factors. The Peace Corps is a development organization in a sea of many diverse institutions. Each of these establishments approaches the development question in a different manner, as there is no universal solution to development issues. In a similar practice, volunteers exercise various strategies to achieve the desired results within their sites.

All volunteers endure difficult periods and moments of triumph. Our behaviors in the midst of failure and victory can only be defined as natural human responses to these occurrences. At times you might spend longer intervals than normal in your house or room immobilized by disillusionment, thoughts of defeat as well as physical and emotional exhaustion.  While this conduct might be construed as a detriment, the temporary hiatus is necessary.  Although you may not be tangibly achieving something in this situation, it allows you to regain the desire to move forward. The creative process involves moments of isolation and social interaction. Before you can take concrete steps to meet your goals, part of the process requires reflection and planning on how to wind your way through the tangled web of potential work that exists. Hopefully as the ruminations brew in your mind, this intellectual energy will propel you to exit your residence and engage with the community once again. These events are cyclical throughout service and should be recognized to maintain a psychological equilibrium. Most importantly, it is an active mind and the desire to learn that are most needed to ensure success as a volunteer. 

Embracing the Uncertainty in Choice

As North Americans, most of us grow up with the mentality that we can pursue anything. From a very early age, whether it’s through the encouragement of our parents, teachers, or mentors the idea that the “sky is the limit” with regards to our future is ingrained into our psyche. This type of support is what pushes many of us to work hard and eventually excel at what we deem is our life’s ambition. Ironically, the idea of endless possibility can often lead to crippling indecision, as we are often faced with the question: “If I can do anything I want, how do I choose?” Unfortunately, there is simply not enough time to sift through the eternal options in a single lifetime.

         The majority of Peace Corps volunteers are recent college graduates. Many have chosen this two-year plus journey because it is an ideal limbo to spend endless hours obsessing over whether to further pursue the focus of their undergraduate studies at a professional level or to take a different path. More importantly, it is an excellent opportunity to explore passions and develop skills upon the blank canvas that constitutes our work plan. There are even some volunteers who have higher and more specialized degrees, but are still not completely sure what they want in terms of their next career step. This is not to say that some volunteers don’t have a vision with regards to their occupational future. However, I find it highly unlikely that anyone chooses to remove themselves from their current situation to enter a foreign environment for this length of time if they are completely confident in their next career move.  Our willingness to part with comfort and career predictability is what drives us to plunge into the vortex of uncertainty that is Peace Corps.

       Nicaraguans in my site will often question me about my “carrera” (similar to an undergraduate major). When I tell them I studied Biology, many are confused as to why I have taken a job as a health educator.  “Why am I not working in a lab somewhere?” Furthermore, when asked regarding my plans are following Peace Corps Nicaraguans are perplexed by my answers ranging from a desire to return to a starving artist life in New York City to the pursuit of a Masters in a field different from my undergraduate career.  In Nicaragua, as in many other countries, the idea of a liberal arts education is non-existent. As early as the age of 16, Nicaraguans who decide to pursue higher education must choose their future career, as the majority of University education is focused towards technical training in one’s desired field.  As having been an unsure and immature teenager I find it quite difficult to imagine having had to settle on a professional path at that point in my life. Although my inability to make a definitive decision at this time with regards to my future often causes unwanted stress and anxiety, I realize that the alternative of having been locked into a career choice (most likely medicine) at a young age would have left me feeling trapped and unhappy.

        I have observed that if Nicaraguans are disappointed with regards to their studies it is not because they were bound to follow one specific course of learning, but rather that they were limited in this choice due to financial reasons.  For instance, I have met a number of people who have expressed an interest in becoming a doctor, however they have settled on becoming a nurse, as it requires the use of less economic resources. Still, the notion that one has an opportunity to continue their education, regardless of the field, is generally embraced. I used to waste countless hours expressing regret for my choice of an undergraduate major, yet my time here has made me realize that unlike many Nicaraguans, I have many options and the freedom to consistently change my mind and reconstruct my desired path.  Additionally, I connect this realization with regards to my service. Although at times I may be frustrated with the lack of structure, I know that I wouldn’t have it any other way. The idea that I can constantly reformulate the contents of my work gives me the inspiration to continue taking risks and exercising the creative process. The notion that no decisions are permanent gives me the confidence that no matter what I pursue with regards to my future I will be successful and satisfied, simply because of the fact that I had a choice.           

           

“Yo Vivo Por Las Artes”

After months of planning, which included approximately 320 kilometers of biking and one or two anxious moments, the dream of “Yo Vivo Por Las Artes” (I Live Through the Arts) finally became a reality. “Yo Vivo Por Las Artes” was an arts camp held in a rural community in my municipality, conceptualized through numerous interactions with a theater troupe in my site that works with the local Casa de Cultura (a center dedicated to promoting cultural events).  In May during my second month of service I had the opportunity to attend a performance by the theater troupe in a nearby municipal capital. In true Peace Corps Volunteer style, this involved me hearing about the presentation minutes prior to the group’s departure and shamelessly offering myself a spot in their vehicle.

Participating in the arts, specifically theater is something I expected to be a challenge during my Peace Corps service, and thus I was thrilled when given the chance to experience a piece of this artistic arena performed by residents of my site. The talent this group showcased astounded me, and I knew I had to find someway to incorporate their innovativeness into my work plan. In June members of this theater troupe began teaching classes at a local NGO (created by a previous Peace Corps Volunteer) in the areas of theater, dance, and music. As I had recently implemented my own theater group I was thrilled to observe and gain new ideas from community members on practices in teaching theater. Additionally, I took advantage of the music lessons in order to improve my elementary guitar skills. To witness the youth in my community actively engaged in the arts on a weekly basis was extremely inspiring. Both the commitment of the instructors and students gave me hope that arts education could not only be sustainable in my site, but perhaps in other parts of Nicaragua. As I spent my time getting to know the participating youth on an individual basis, I soon realized that this enriching opportunity in the arts could unfortunately only extend as far as those living in or near the urban center.

The majority of my work has been spent educating populations on health topics in the rural communities within my municipality.  Whenever I have questioned youth in these locations about their involvement in art related activities I usually receive negative responses, as arts education is not an integral part of the Education Ministry’s curriculum and it is difficult for groups (such as the one associated with the Casa de Cultura) to reach these remote areas because of the lack of transportation and road infrastructure. Unlike the adolescents within close proximity to the urban center, those living in rural communities have little or no access to participation in the arts.  Thus, I hoped to use the skills and exuberance demonstrated by the Casa de Cultura’s theater troupe to disseminate artistic knowledge and inspiration to youth in my site’s rural communities. In rural Nicaragua, where I have observed the often shy nature of youth, most specifically girls, I wanted to provide an artistic outlet that could potentially motivate and lead to change.

As someone who was extremely timid during my adolescent years, I could personally relate to the power that participation in the arts had in breeding confidence and strength in the archetype of the awkwardly developing youth.  I remember roaming the halls of my high school in a perpetual existential daze, only to be briefly sparked with identity during my hours of rehearsal seeking refuge in the theater wing. It was a space where nothing was too absurd and mistakes could be made. In an academic world mostly comprised of multiple choice tests and specific experimental yields, a place where my errors were considered a part of the creative palate, gave me hope that perfection may not be the answer to success. With this in mind it inspired me to take risks and fulfill my greater potential. I could only hope for the same discovery amongst Nicaraguan youth once given the opportunity to participate in the arts.

The financial support for the camp was provided by the Volunteer Activities Support and Training (VAST) Program, which is a funding source for HIV/AIDS-related Peace Corps Projects. Thus, the camp focused not only on promoting the arts, but more specifically on educating the youth and their community about HIV/AIDS prevention along with other healthy behaviors through the medium of the arts. The camp was a two-day event held in mid December at a local school, which included 20 participants from three nearby communities. The campers were divided into three artistic groups: theater and music, dance and masks. Each group was given charlas on HIV/AIDS as well as other pertinent health topics affecting today’s Nicaraguan youth, such as teenage pregnancy, drug and alcohol abuse and familial and partner violence. With the given information each group along with the help of their instructors (members from the Casa de Cultura theater troupe) created a piece that would be presented to their communities in a final performance held on the last day of the camp. As a result, the camp’s participants acted as youth promoters to educate their communities about HIV/AIDS prevention and other healthy lifestyles.

The camp was more successful than I could ever have imagined. This is due to the generous contribution of time, effort, collaboration and creativity from the Casa de Cultura theater troupe, other fellow Peace Corps Volunteers, the camp’s participants, the local health ministry (who implemented HIV rapid testing) and other members of the community who helped with cooking, cleaning and promoting the camp’s implementation. When I think of what I am most proud of in regards to this project it is most simply expressed in a quote by the Taoist philosopher Laozi:

  “A leader is most effective when people barely know he exists. When his work is done, his aim fulfilled, his troops will feel they did it themselves.”

Although I may have initiated the original concept of the camp, once the theory was put into actuality my role grew less and less significant. I gladly moved into the wings to coordinate the logistical flow of the day’s events as the theater troupe took the lead to motivate the campers and produce the culminating performance. When the community itself has the strength to direct action and change with little assistance from outsiders it is indicative that development can be sustainable. During training we are taught that Peace Corps Volunteers should act as facilitators in our sites. A facilitator’s job is to enable groups or organizations to work most effectively in order to achieve a common goal.  If we are successful as Volunteers, then when we leave our sites after two years we should be confident that our communities could continue the work we helped to implement without our physical presence. After the events of the arts camp, I am optimistic that my community will be able to replicate such projects even in my absence.

P.S. As of January 11^th, 2013 I have completed one year in country!  

The Whole Gang!

Dance Practice

Dinamica!

Performance by the Theater Troupe

HIV/AIDS Charla

Making Music!

Promoting Family Planning

Making Masks!

Dance on Contraception

Charla on HIV/AIDS Rapid Testing

Masks Presentation

Play Rehearsal

Is The Peace Corps a Development Organization?

This is not a unique question. It is a topic that has been debated amongst the volunteer blog universe as well as in scholarly articles. One of the reasons I joined Peace Corps was to investigate the world of development work. I knew Peace Corps had its array of critics and champions (friends of mine for instance) and I wanted to learn for myself practical applications of several theories of development to discover what worked and what did not.

My initial experience working in development was through a fellowship program in India. This experience taught me the obvious: I knew very little about development work, and the learning curve would be much steeper for me than perhaps some of my more experienced peers. This inevitably put me into a state of shock and confusion and led to frustration and some anxiety (this last reaction may also have been attributed to the colonies of rabid dogs populating the streets). At around the midpoint of my time in India, I started to doubt whether foreigners even had a place in the development sector. My thoughts seemed justified, as Indians know what is better for Indians than expats who don’t speak the language or have a clear understanding of the culture. I worked for an Indian grassroots advocacy and human rights organization that was striving to improve the lives of marginalized Indians. I was confused where I fit in aiding in the advancement of their mission. However, the second half of my experience in India granted me new insight to how building relationships and effective communication between different cultures can set an excellent primer for further exploration in social justice and development work. I probably learned more from my experience in India than what I offered to my Indian counterparts. The experience was highly inspiring and humbling. It took me nearly a year to even begin to understand some of the cultural nuances and rarities encompassing India’s diverse ecosystem of inhabitants. I finished my work energized, wanting more time to discover if a year of relative cultural awareness ingrained in my psyche could stimulate an ability to give back to my community and accomplish some tangible work.

Thus, began the notion of The Peace Corps, a two-year experience working in a developing country. The first year to be dedicated to learning about the culture and needs of my site, and the second spent using what I had learned in the previous year to facilitate projects that would help my community.  At this point I have spent nearly as much time working in Nicaragua as I had in India, and I am honestly no closer to understanding development than when I stepped off the plane 10 months ago into the thickness of Managua’s night heat. During the training component of service we receive very little information regarding theories in development practice. To date we have probably been exposed to one charla regarding approaches in development (PACA tools), which is in my opinion is not enough to sustain our efforts for two years. I realize that theory is not the only solution to understanding an issue, but a base knowledge of development is necessary to prepare one for hands-on experience in the field. Not once have we ever had the opportunity to reflect as a group on our work efforts to examine what has been successful or destructive with regards to development work. It seems The Peace Corps has chosen to create a training model that leaves no room to allow its volunteers to examine its effectiveness. Despite this, there are some things, which are certain: my Spanish has greatly improved, I have a greater understanding of Nicaraguan culture, and I have built some strong relationships. However, I am still unsure if this is enough to aid me in successful development efforts. A few months back I came across the article written by a former Peace Corps volunteer and country director Robert L. Strauss in Foreign Policy, which highlights and disputes some of the many supposed misconceptions surrounding The Peace Corps purpose and mission. While some of his opinions surrounding the matter may be debatable, there was a specific claim, which resonated with my frustrations regarding The Peace Corps role in development:

“ The reason the Peace Corps is overlooked as a development organization has a lot to do with the youth and inexperience of the majority of its volunteers. Equally important is its unwillingness to decide if it is a development organization or an organization with a mission to promote world peace and friendship, as stipulated by Congress in the Peace Corps Act. It would like to be both, but finds itself falling short on both objectives because it cannot decide which is the more important.”

While I agree partly with the first portion of Strauss’s statement, that the majority of the Peace Corps volunteers are recent college graduates with very little experience, I do not believe this is the main contributor to perhaps the organization’s failures as a development organization. It is Strauss’s second point that I believe adequately explains The Peace Corps major flaw in its attempts to make a contributable dent in the development world.  As a volunteer who tries to both integrate into my community and do meaningful work, I can fully relate to the idea that The Peace Corps is confused as to in which areas of its goals one should spend most of his or her time. I believe that most people underestimate the efforts it takes to get to know one’s community and build relationships (you can read my many blog posts on this), but it really is a full time job. If I spend all my time integrating it will inevitably keep me from doing North American defined productive work, which is ultimately what will get hospitals, water systems, schools and other forms of infrastructural necessities built.  The opposite is also true. If one spends too much time trying to create projects, cultural exchange opportunities will be missed. I recently experienced this notion through my efforts to apply for a grant to support the development of an arts health education camp I hope to implement in a rural community in December. The camp aims to educate adolescents ages 15+ about HIV/AIDS prevention and other healthy lifestyle practices through the medium of different art forms (music, dance, theater etc.) and will last approximately 3 days. The planning behind this event has forced me to lock myself in my house for countless hours to write (and re-write) an application that would fund my activity.  This has left me at times feeling extremely guilty for shutting myself out from my community. However, it also makes me question if my failure to work on strengthening my connections with community members matters if the intentions of my work are good and may ultimately prevent youth from making poor life decisions?

Finding the balance between The Peace Corps goals of cultural exchange and assisting communities with technical work is extremely challenging. Strauss further emphasizes this by claiming The Peace Corps is “…a schizophrenic entity, unsure if it is a development organization, a cheerleader for international goodwill, or a government-sponsored cross-cultural exchange program.”  I am unclear whether the mixture of cultural integration and vocational capacity building are the perfect ingredients to implement successful development work. Perhaps, as Strauss comments, the combination of elements does more to set the organization off balance, and thus little can be accomplished. Or, maybe two years isn’t long enough, as both aspects of Peace Corps objectives require a volunteer to be exclusively involved in one or the other to obtain complete success in either area.

If anything, this experience is another foundation to prepare me to take on the challenges that I will continue to face as I navigate the intertwining of an international and domestic lifestyle. Perhaps it is selfish, but I recognize that while I am invested in immersing myself in a different culture, at the same time I learning a lot about myself and gaining important life skills that will guide me to future achievement. In many ways, this is what makes my Peace Corps service extremely invigorating and valuable. This also makes me believe that my original thoughts on development might be correct. Perhaps the best development workers are those making efforts in their home country. Yet, it would be highly irrelevant to compare development work in India to Nicaragua. On a personal level, I feel that my progress towards integration into Nicaraguan culture has been much smoother than the efforts it took to assimilate into an Indian environment. This is largely contributed to the fact that Nicaragua has more cultural ties to the US than India due to geographical distance and historical influence. Perhaps the level of foreign involvement in development work in another country depends on cultural similarities between the host country and the outsiders who have chosen to invest their time and energy into development. A universal thread I have discovered between both my time in India and Nicaragua is that as a foreigner, regardless of my cultural background, I have a role to perhaps stimulate the general process of sustainable development work. Thus, I have high hopes that the altruistic and curious spirit I model in my site can motivate some Nicaraguans to embody this character to work to improve their country after my departure.