The Reality, Struggle and Success of this Experience: Building Relationships

Most in the field of development and especially within the Peace Corps community will advocate that relationship building is the key to one´s success. As a Peace Corps trainee one is told countless times to focus on integrating into one´s community. This includes taking the time to getting to know our host families and neighbors through porch side chats and shared tortilla and chuajada (que rica!). It also suggests that those times when one feels the sudden urge to bolt into one´s room and disappear into the comforts of the latest episode of Mad Men, one should push against these forces and delve further into the depths of the host culture. Eventually, the desire to escape may diminish.

I am not suggesting that one attempt immersion to the point of absolute struggle and despair, but it´s important to be aware of those moments of trying to escape from an uncomfortable situation, and to challenge oneself to break through these communication barriers. The reason is that often times as North Americans, one must know what comes next. The U.S. psyche has an obsessive compulsion with organizing the future. While this predictive behavior may be comforting, it inhibits serendipity. There have been countless times when my limits of patience and boredom have been tested through conversations or participation in a local event (like a quince año where no one but myself and my seven year old host sister were dancing, as a group of people blankly stared while simultaneously consuming Arroz Chino). In many of these moments I have been frustrated by the situation, but in my reflections I have never once regretted my presence nor wished I had spent that time disengaged from my cultural surroundings. The situation I described I now consider outright hilarious and if anything it helped to forge a bond between myself and a family member. Furthermore, there are instances where what may at first be a seemingly dull and worthless interaction becomes something unexpectedly wonderful, and acts as a revitalizing tool to confirm the validity of my presence in the Peace Corps.  Also, if ever a moment is reached where one would rather cram into a bus full of students with a baby on their lap for a 2 hour ride from a department capital back to one´s site, rather than spend the evening drinking with other volunteers, maybe then the integration process is working. Or, I might be insane for having done this.

Why am I harping so much on relationship building? The main reason is because I have realized it is the biggest challenge of this experience. One can easily come into their communities and form groups, check off to do lists, plan meetings, and give charlas, but so what? Forming relationships in a different culture with a language barrier is mentally exhausting. The strength of these bonds is difficult to measure and because one´s time is limited in country, it may never become clear whether one´s efforts have been effective and sustainable. It’s a technique one must continually practice and trust so that eventually the outcome will be triumphant. To have faith that a method will be successful, with the knowledge that the evidence of this potential success may never visually transpire, will test one´s limits far greater than spending a few hours creating posters on the benefits of breastfeeding.

The Peace Corps (refer to the disclaimer please) is about cultural exchange and relationship building. The technical training one receives may mask the actual purpose of their service, and gives Washington a reason to provide the necessary funds. The best training received is the language component, as this is the most effective tool for initiating the integration process. Politically, it is an intelligent move for Peace Corps to strongly advertise the technical capacity of its volunteers as I doubt neither the U.S. Government nor tax payers would be willing to shell out their hard earned money for the purpose of enhancing the cultural awareness of few idealistic Americans. The people back home want to see easily measurable results, and thus one of the three primary goals of the Peace Corps is: “Helping the people of interested countries in meeting their need for trained men and women.” This goal refers to the work one conducts in his/her site and provides beautiful graphs and statistics for the Peace Corps to promote its deserved existence to those providing the financial support. However,  goals two and three: “Helping promote a better understanding of Americans on the part of the peoples served” and “Helping promote a better understanding of other peoples on the part of Americans” are the successful realities for most volunteers. This is not to say that some volunteers do not create accomplished projects, but in two years most of the achievement will be counted in cups of coffee shared and smiles received rather than the number of maternal and child deaths that may be prevented.

On an ironic note: The theater group is going swimmingly.