The Reality, Struggle and Success of this Experience: Building Relationships

Most in the field of development and especially within the Peace Corps community will advocate that relationship building is the key to one´s success. As a Peace Corps trainee one is told countless times to focus on integrating into one´s community. This includes taking the time to getting to know our host families and neighbors through porch side chats and shared tortilla and chuajada (que rica!). It also suggests that those times when one feels the sudden urge to bolt into one´s room and disappear into the comforts of the latest episode of Mad Men, one should push against these forces and delve further into the depths of the host culture. Eventually, the desire to escape may diminish.

I am not suggesting that one attempt immersion to the point of absolute struggle and despair, but it´s important to be aware of those moments of trying to escape from an uncomfortable situation, and to challenge oneself to break through these communication barriers. The reason is that often times as North Americans, one must know what comes next. The U.S. psyche has an obsessive compulsion with organizing the future. While this predictive behavior may be comforting, it inhibits serendipity. There have been countless times when my limits of patience and boredom have been tested through conversations or participation in a local event (like a quince año where no one but myself and my seven year old host sister were dancing, as a group of people blankly stared while simultaneously consuming Arroz Chino). In many of these moments I have been frustrated by the situation, but in my reflections I have never once regretted my presence nor wished I had spent that time disengaged from my cultural surroundings. The situation I described I now consider outright hilarious and if anything it helped to forge a bond between myself and a family member. Furthermore, there are instances where what may at first be a seemingly dull and worthless interaction becomes something unexpectedly wonderful, and acts as a revitalizing tool to confirm the validity of my presence in the Peace Corps.  Also, if ever a moment is reached where one would rather cram into a bus full of students with a baby on their lap for a 2 hour ride from a department capital back to one´s site, rather than spend the evening drinking with other volunteers, maybe then the integration process is working. Or, I might be insane for having done this.

Why am I harping so much on relationship building? The main reason is because I have realized it is the biggest challenge of this experience. One can easily come into their communities and form groups, check off to do lists, plan meetings, and give charlas, but so what? Forming relationships in a different culture with a language barrier is mentally exhausting. The strength of these bonds is difficult to measure and because one´s time is limited in country, it may never become clear whether one´s efforts have been effective and sustainable. It’s a technique one must continually practice and trust so that eventually the outcome will be triumphant. To have faith that a method will be successful, with the knowledge that the evidence of this potential success may never visually transpire, will test one´s limits far greater than spending a few hours creating posters on the benefits of breastfeeding.

The Peace Corps (refer to the disclaimer please) is about cultural exchange and relationship building. The technical training one receives may mask the actual purpose of their service, and gives Washington a reason to provide the necessary funds. The best training received is the language component, as this is the most effective tool for initiating the integration process. Politically, it is an intelligent move for Peace Corps to strongly advertise the technical capacity of its volunteers as I doubt neither the U.S. Government nor tax payers would be willing to shell out their hard earned money for the purpose of enhancing the cultural awareness of few idealistic Americans. The people back home want to see easily measurable results, and thus one of the three primary goals of the Peace Corps is: “Helping the people of interested countries in meeting their need for trained men and women.” This goal refers to the work one conducts in his/her site and provides beautiful graphs and statistics for the Peace Corps to promote its deserved existence to those providing the financial support. However,  goals two and three: “Helping promote a better understanding of Americans on the part of the peoples served” and “Helping promote a better understanding of other peoples on the part of Americans” are the successful realities for most volunteers. This is not to say that some volunteers do not create accomplished projects, but in two years most of the achievement will be counted in cups of coffee shared and smiles received rather than the number of maternal and child deaths that may be prevented.

On an ironic note: The theater group is going swimmingly.

Necessary Challenges

Like most long-term intercultural experiences, a journey in the Peace Corps will produce a roller coaster of emotions. Whether you are freezing in a Soviet bloc style apartment building in the Ukraine or sweating in a thatch roofed hut in sub-Saharan Africa, one will encounter various struggles. I have quickly come to realize that the periods of frustration aid in amplifying the particularly joyful moments that one will inevitably stumble upon throughout their service. These instances of enlightenment are what makes the seemingly longer periods of aggravation not only bearable, but worthwhile. Hyperawareness is a natural symptom of culture shock, and even an avid traveler is not immune to its effects. The amount of perspective one gains daily in a foreign culture is equal to or more than one could potentially achieve in years in one´s natural environment. Specifically the sentiment of happiness, which is the token nirvana for the human race, is achieved through less complex manners. In my case, it involves staring into the emerald hills that hug the edges of my town to untangle the knots of doubt that are often simmering in my stomach. The main reason why development is such a slow and tedious process is before one can implement any projects, positive and negative experiences in an alien setting must breed the required knowledge to make these projects both sustainable and successful. 

The biggest challenge so far involves a question encased in existential combustibility: ¨What am I doing here?!¨ I ask that both literally and figuratively, because as is expected both answers compliment the success of the other. Formally, I am recognized by Peace Corps as a community health volunteer. However, I have quickly realized that what I actually am is a community development volunteer who has the word health attached to her title in order take use of the benefits of a specific ministry which will not be named, as her counterpart. I say this with the most realistic intentions, as I know as well as most people here, that I am no expert when it comes to educating people in the community about the specifics of certain health issues. First of all, they have been hearing the same talks their entire lives, and I am just a person with a funny accent, crazy hair, and weirdo hipster clothes spewing the exact same facts that they have repeatedly received from actual health professionals who can communicate in perfect Spanish.

Upon this realization, one may feel extremely disillusioned, which is why the original question surfaced. Alas, all I had to do was peer deep into the green shrubbery of those fertile mounds surrounding my town and the answer became clearer. I am here to educate about health, but in perhaps a more holistic manner than per se a doctor or nurse might attempt. I could give educational talks everyday at my health center or in the schools on various health topics for the rest of my two years of service, yet where is the sustainability of this action? While it is important to visit all areas of my assigned region in order to gain knowledge on the community's needs and to facilitate the integration process, I want to find a smaller niche within my already well resourced environment where my short stay will be considered valuable. I need look no further than my life´s passion, theater. I have preliminary plans to use theater as a mechanism to educate youth in my community on various health topics. This will involve forming a theater group that will create and perform plays on health themes in both my town and the surrounding rural areas. Development, health and theater! Maybe I can eat my torta.

Entering the (Nica) Real World

I have been in my permanent site for about two weeks, and overall it has been a refreshingly positive experience. My house is located across from the health center which makes the commute to work extremely convenient. When I reflect upon my journey from my apartment in India to my office, my situation here could not be a starker contrast. While I believe that India was an experience that rearranged the puzzle pieces of my mind into a new perspective, I believe this experience will allow me to revel in the joys of tranquility. My town is beautiful. Perhaps it is not the most aesthetically pleasing site according to Frommer’s or Lonely Planet, but when I walk the cobblestone streets and see the luscious hills in the distance, I have never felt so light. Lightness is a sentiment that had escaped me while in India.  With an enhanced spirit, I feel as if I can be quite productive in my service. My mind is clear and I have the momentum of desire to be proactive.

I have been surprisingly busy, and I am mostly enjoying the work style which I have molded for myself. I have been involved with a Dengue survey that my health center is implementing throughout my town. For the past few days I have gone around with an epidemiologist and nurse to evaluate whether certain houses are at risk for breeding Dengue ridden larvae. This involves collecting suspicious looking creatures and putting chemicals in standing water. I have also been visiting some of the outer rural communities to give talks in the schools on health topics ranging from hand washing to self-esteem. More importantly, I have been familiarizing myself with the different parts of my town and interacting with community members.  During training the Peace Corps emphasizes that the first three months in site should be dedicated to getting to know one’s environment and forming relationships. These initial steps will act as the foundation for the projects one hopes to implement throughout their service. However, for someone who is constantly bursting with creative energy, at times I find it hard to tone down my desires to jump ahead and start constructing my plans prematurely. Patience may be the most rigorous test of this experience, as time moves at a slower pace in both Nicaragua and in the world of development.

I find myself wavering in my views on success. Is it tangible? I feel highly accomplished after giving a 1.5 hour charla in front of a group of rowdy jovenes, however, I could care less about the quantity in which I give over the course of two years. What do numbers signify anyways? How can we measure if what I taught actually had any influence? I have quickly come to realize that there is so much to this experience that is completely immeasurable, and that is because every waking hour that I am in the presence of my community, whether it’s in front a large crowd in the health center or sitting with my family in front of the TV, judgments and opinions are being formed and knowledge is being transferred, inevitably both ways. The majority of my day cannot be represented in a graph or captured on a resume. However, the wisdom I gain through small moments over coffee on my front porch with a neighbor or a brief chat with my local vegetable vendor may be the most significant measures of success throughout my time in Nicaragua.

Immersion Commence…Ahoritta!

I have been in Nicaragua about a month and as expected the immersion process is well underway. After a whirlwind staging event in DC (where it snowed!), and a long day of traveling, I finally arrived in Managua, Nicaragua on January 11, 2012. Currently, I am living in a small town in the department (similar to a state) of Carazo. I am in training until the end of March, when I will officially become a Peace Corps Community Health Volunteer and begin my two years of service. At this point I am not sure where I will be living, but all will be discovered within the next coming weeks. The Peace Corps is notorious for not giving away too much information. However, I am a supporter of this strategy, as I would be severely overwhelmed knowing everything at once. This has been a great exercise in learning how to live in the moment.

The family I live with is absolutely wonderful. I have three sisters, one of which is my age, but is married with a 2.5 year old. I often wonder how they perceive me. I am a 25 year old single female, who has chosen to live on her own for twenty seven months in a foreign country. Ironically, as I am new to my environment I am very much treated as a child. After three weeks I have finally convinced my family that I can make my own coffee! However, most women my age in Nicaragua are married with children. I often question whether I am looked at with envy or pity. I have the freedom to go and do as I please, but at the same time I am very much alone. I guess these social norms are quite similar in the states. Most of the people my age back home are either in long-term relationships, settled in a two bedroom, engaged, married, or have kids! I have no regrets concerning my post college decisions. I have had wonderful and even at times life altering experiences. Although, I am quick to realize that because I have lived such a nomadic and international lifestyle, it has kept me from engaging in the types of relationships the majority of people my age experience. I don’t believe any human can exist on his/her own. As a race, we strive for connection and it would be masochistic to deny this truth. Furthermore, I believe one of the crucial steps to successful and sustainable (excuse the buzzword) development work is building lasting relationships. I think I’ll just have to find someone who is willing to chase me around the world.

When I begin to reflect on the pre-journey I took to finally begin my 27 month journey with the Peace Corps I can hardly believe I am actually surrounded by 19 other hopeful Peace Corp Trainees (“Aspirantes” as we are known) in country. There was definitely a period of time (last August-September to be exact) when I was DEFINITELY NOT going to the Peace Corps. After what had been a rocky start to my New York City adventure, I finally had begun to “figure stuff out” in the city that never sleeps (and yes, I was not sleeping, thanks to the numerous wonderful but expensive coffee shops in my neighborhood). I had three jobs which were enough to cover my coffee addiction and the subway (who needs food anyways?), and the hours were flexible enough to allow me to pursue my real passion: ACTING! Yes, acting. It had always been there. Something I had adamantly pursued in High School, but then deemed to impractical to continue in College. I was going to be Paul Farmer after all, and was way too busy trying to cure the poorest of the poor from the world’s most deadly (yet treatable) diseases. Right. Actually, most of college was spent obsessing over that fact that I couldn’t run (thank you right tibia stress fracture, and my inability to admit to myself that I could not survive running 60+ miles a week!), and beating my head against a wall while trying to understand various chemical compounds, synthesis, and pathways. I claimed both competitive running and science were my passions. So why was I so unhappy? Well, first of all I was very young and misinformed. I don’t care who you are, but at 17, there is no way you can know for sure, exactly your calling in life. Sure, as an impressionable adolescent, ready to take the plunge and move 3,000 miles away from home for four years, I felt capable and confident to pursue a path similar to Paul Farmer. However, I failed to realize that maybe, just maybe, I had other interests (and not to mention breaking points)! Oh yeah, and if your only extra-curricular is competitive running…que aburrido!

So why am I in Nicaragua and not New York City pursuing a dream?! I wish I could give a real answer. Unfortunately, life is just not that simple or black and white. Serving in the Peace Corps has also always been a lifelong aspiration. I honestly cannot recall when I first learned about the Peace Corps, but ever since college it has always been something I believed I would one day be a part of. I still question daily whether or not I should be here. Thanks to the wonderful side effects of my malaria medication I am fully enjoying my vivid dreams of starring in multiple Broadway productions. However, until I have reached a point where I can say with 100% certainty that I should be in New York City and not the Peace Corps, I am here to stay. Life has to be more than just acting, it’s about how specific life experiences shape one as an artist. I cannot think of a more diverse and compelling journey than a stint in the Peace Corps.